A niece came over with my aunt over the weekend. The niece and I have rarely interacted in the past but she took to me as if she has known me all her life. She's barely six. And spending time with her has reminded me of the dichotomy of being an anti-natalist and someone who adores kids.
Something about my nieces and nephews wanting to spend time with me of their own accord -- which happens rarely but when it does, it's a force to reckon -- warms my heart in ways words can seldom capture well. This one walked with me hand-in-hand to the shop and sticks to me most of the times, reminding me of my other niece living in Bangalore. That a kid trusts me enough to take a walk to the playground or to a nearby shop with me is spectacular and my heart rejoices at that.
We went for a walk, got her a couple of tiny little earrings and returned. An hour or so later, I had to step out again to buy some milk. She was watching the telly so I slipped out and had barely walked a few steps out when I heard her calling after me, asking me to wait for her as she hurriedly got her sandals on.
At the shop, there was no milk.
I'm prone to cooking up childish scenarios so I said, "What if my mom punishes us both, and asks us to stay out of the house, because we didn't get milk?".
A pause. And then she said:
"No, she will let us."
"What if she doesn't?"
"Oh, she will because I am a small girl, no?"
"Yeah so she will let you in but she will make me stay out. What would I do?"
"Don't worry, I will tell her that Umesh mama should also be allowed in. She will listen to me."
*
There's of course the realization that when I write of kids, it's from the lens of having to only contend with a handful of hours or days being with them full-time. It tends to paint a different picture but for what it's worth, it's okay.
I think of the affection and attachment that my Bangalorean niece has shown in the past, or this niece showed today and the word "transience" pops out. I tend to think of these affections as transient. (Of course, many other hues of affections and love are transient, but we'll set that aside). Physical presence is tantamount to the continuation and progress of these affections. And the transience is a humbling reminder as well -- to cherish these moments while they last and to carry them into the future when time, distance and life play out their effects on these relationships.